Back from the throng of Italians….

  I can not begin this post without firstly giving a nod to our boys in red – What a delight to return home from Italy on the Friday night and wake up in time on Saturday to witness the winning of our great team.

We all bow down to you….

I have returned home from the delights of Italy to the horror of house building! Those of you that visit me regularly will know the disasters that my four walls confine -  bad electrics, shoddy pipe work, tumble down walls – the time has come to correct all the madness and resign myself to – the builders!

They arrive tomorrow morning and are here for the duration of the summer – this can only mean one thing – CHAOS!!

I sat and pondered over the last week, the dilemma of how to work on an incall basis when it is virtually impossible to keep a work phone on and discuss my line of work with clients old and new with builders clomping about? How do I get the workmen out and clean up enough to get you in for an hour when you do finally get me on a phone and ask to see me? It was headache inducing stuff – I came to the conclusion there is only one way to do this…. I have to ask ALL clients, old and new alike, to please email me until further notice if you wish to see me because an email I can get to virtually immediately and uninterrupted, a phone conversation will be dicey at best. And pelase get in touch in advance as that way, if there is a particular mess here I can go ahead and arrange a hotel room for us to meet so we can have the desired privacy and comfort that I normally produce for your hour with me. I understand this is inconvenient for a lot of you and apologise most sincerely for it – It really is a case of now or never for this work to be carried out, I have put it off for far too long and can not go through any more burst pipes and sparking electrics whilst remaining sane!

If you could please email me and email me in advance of wanting to see me – it doesn’t need to be days and days in advance, just a day or two and that would be brilliant – it also makes your odds of seeing me significantly good to great if not absolutely. If you want to see me on the same day as you are emailing I’m afraid its not going to work out and can only apologise for this. Builders are notoriously bad time keepers and can show up at will – I will never put a client in a situation where he is compromised, so, in advance please and in a hotel we shall meet if necessary – rest assured, I have high standards and will only book a good hotel – your discretion is top of my list….

Building updates as we go along and thank you for your patience.

xxx

Province of Verona….

 I am off on my holidays! To Verona to begin with then onwards down to the rest of Italy – From Monday 5th to Monday 19th I will not be available for work… Now don’t sulk – this is the first holiday I have taken in three years and I know for a fact – you guys go on holidays all the time.

No I will not be taking my work phone, I can pick up emails now and then but unless you are planning on seeing me after Monday 19th March, I doubt very much that I will be getting back to you before that date.

The city of Juliet calls to me, once again, its pull too great to resist. The weather is forecast fine and I have some Euro’s to dispose of. I might miss the rugby but, are we not due to play Italy next? I can be in the fair country with the Italians for that, while we thrash them, now that is a thrill!

Please accept apologies if this inconveniences anybody – it is a last minute holiday, I had nothing as yet booked in for work on these two weeks so I have seized the opportunity and am running away to Romeo land….

See you all upon my return.

xx

Enter The Dragon…..

  And The Welsh win the Triple Crown..!

How could I not blog about it? Having just woken up from a riotous time in the local, I am still rather sore around the headache region. The sun, which, a welcome sight it is, has been closed out of the house via thick curtains… My back aches from the sheer amount of time I spent underneath the pub table, cowering with my eyes closed from that last English disallowed try….  They do like to make us rugby fans weep and wilt, the Welsh Team…. Nice to see Tom Jones there – bow to The Jones….

With all that excitement behind us, its back to earth this morning with a mammoth clean up of my fine abode and a preparation of hand washing all lingerie ready for the week ahead…. Charge up the work phone, sipher through the emails I have received to sort out the legit from the naff and reposition my fruity condoms in the draw next to the bed…

A busy week is looming and lets hope the arrival of the sun for the last two days is heralding the beginnning of Spring – I have bluebells sprouting in my garden and the tulips have began to peep out… Here is to some warmth from the sun rather than the boiler..

I have already got a hectic few weeks of bookings in my little black diary but some availability remains so make haste…

Happy Sunday to the Welsh and all hail the dragon!

Oh and least I forget – many thanks to my Friday midday man who sent me the most gorgeous stockings and plenty of them… I am in lust with them Sir, you are a gent.

xx

Jolly January!

A very belated Happy New Year to all! 19 days late is nothing for me, as those who know me will testify! I wish all clients and readers a propserous and jolly new year.

Indeed, those clients I have had the delight of seeing since the Christmas festivities have indeed, been very jolly. It is lovely to see people full of enthusiasm for a new year, it rubs off, it is contagious – I end up feeling full of optimism and hope also. So, here is to a whole, entire, brand new year…. Lets hope its a good one.

Working schedule is back to normal (see contact/availability page on site) after the Christmas break. Looking forward to seeing clients old and new. Thanks to all for the great support and fun in 2011 and, as said, here is to 2012 – may we skip into it merrily and have some great joy along the way.

x

Tis the season….

  Well, we should have known that mild November would morph into chilly December… All that fooling ourselves in t shirts and slip on shoes as we brazenly went about feeling smug at the fact we need not have put on our heating and it was NOVEMBER! Take that, you rip off energy providers… Payback is sweet… Reap the revenge of inflated prices and crap customer services… We need you not and it is NOVEMBER!

Then, December 1st rolls around and suddenly? God, put the heating on, what? Its freezing! Where did this come from!? I mean, last week I was practically living in Spain, now? I might as well be in Scotland… The gritters are out!? What the hell happened…? Is this some form of joke? Get back onto the phone to that gas company and apologise for calling them greedy, mother f****ers and telling them, we were hard, we didn’t need gas heating…

To the Christmas scheduling then – availability is filling up fast. A lot of advance bookings have already been taken.

For advisory – Please call for advanced bookings as no same day appointments are being taken from now until January 5th. Apologies. I simply just can’t fit you in at short notice. My calender is almost fully booked for this month so HURRY!

I WILL NOT BE WORKING AT ALL ON THE FOLLOWING DATES:

**December 23rd through to January 2nd**

Any queries, please do email or call me. I can always fit in a regular who understands my home/work life but sadly, I will absolutely not be working on the above dates.

x

Sniff, cough, ache….

Emma has got a cold!

In the interests of not passing it on to clients she is taking the rest of this week – 18th October to 23rd October off to lay in bed, to cough, sniff and sneeze her way back to full health!

Please do email if you wish a booking for next week, the post below has details on that. You can try to call but the odds are Emma will be asleep, fighting off the common cold virus so she might yank out her stockings and be ready for action next week!

Thank you.

Calender October 24th-30th.

From Monday 24th – Sunday 30th October I will be only taking ADVANCED BOOKINGS. Please call the day before you wish to see me, no same day bookings available.

Normal service resumes on Monday 31st!

Please see Contact/Availability page on site for regular hours.

xx

Availability!

Don’t click on it – it won’t take you anywhere!

I have been besieged with calls, some of them from frustrated, cross individuals, about my availability! Unable to get me on the phone, if it rings I am not picking up, if a voicemail is left I do not respond,  and ‘I sent you a text, you didn’t reply!?

Okay - I have had a lot of other business matters to attend to of late – they are now attended to. Normal hours escort wise are resumed!

I never return a voicemail, even if you ask me to. There are two reasons.

Firstly, I do not know where you are at any given time or who you are with or who might answer your phone!  I am not going to put you in a compromising situation. I never, ever call a client back, for goodness sake, come on, really?’ Hi this is Emma, I am calling you back so we might arrange our hour of bonk-tastic fun… Oh, what do you mean you  are his brother/father/boss? Opps!’ Its not going to happen guys, please just be patient and try to call me back later in the day or the next day even. 

 Secondly, if you leave me a voicemail saying ‘I have tried to call to make a booking. Call me back please if you want the work’ I am not going to call you back, it is not my job to call you and seek you out, you are going to have to call me back if you wish to see me, its as simple as that. There is no need to get so cross with me in these voicemails.  My hours of work are clearly stated within my site, if my phone is off it is off for a good reason, you can call me back, I will be here if not that hour then the next and if that fails, then try again the next day….

I never answer text messages. I never arrange a booking via a text and lately, I have ahd a lot of text asking me for an hour please? I am not so daft as to arrange to see a client via a text message – I need to talk to you before I go giving out my address and inviting you over!  And really, if a person can not be bothered to call me and speak to me then I can’t be bothered to reply to a text they send…

Mostly, all my clients are great and there is no problem or issue with getting hold of me, seeing me and a great time is had by all! Please, please read my site properly before you try to contact me as, if this is done, then an understanding of how I work is achieved and a good run up to the actual booking can take place.

Thanks guys.

x 

RIP…

   A Welshman stood at the golden gate, his head was bent and low. He meekly asked
the man of fate the way that he should go. ‘What have you done’ St. Peter said
‘To gain admission here?’ ‘I merely mined for coal’ he said, ‘for many and many
a year.’ St. Peter opened wide the gate and softly tolled the bell. ‘Come and
choose your harp’ he said ‘You’ve had your share of hell.’

After the long,hot summer….

 Well, okay, so it was not such a hot summer. But it was passable. When schools, colleges and Universities shut down for the entire moth of August, my line of work generally goes very quiet as well. I guess a lot of people are away on holidays or just hanging out at home with their families. I have always had quiet summer times within this line of work so recognise this and take the time out to get on with repair work about the house, messy repair work that is, stuff that needs to be done but causes chaos whilst being done. I also take the time out to go hiking, biking, sipping coffee high up on a cliff – general summer time activities – it is and always has been a lovely month of time out, reflection on the year so far and thoughts for the future.

However, it is very lovely to get to September and have routines back to normal – the phone rings, the emails start to arrive and clients I have not seen or heard from since late July come back, it is always a joy to catch up and begin to plod along with a busy life again.

Autumn has most certainly arrived this week. The leaves are falling off the trees and laying soggy on the ground as the rain has pelted in from the west, along with the wind. The sea has been angrily roaring in and battering the rocks and caves. The trees have been bowing and swaying with a great grace as they worked with the wind to remain solid and proudly upright rather than broken and laying across a pavement. I have seen sheep hiding behind bushes, cows and horses nestled close together in tightly knit groups. Children laughing as they got attacked by sea spray and grown ups complaining as yet another lorry swished past them, blocking off their view thanks to the road spray in their wake. I for one, love this time of year. Its time to get out those old, thick socks and the battered about, ancient dressing gown and snuggle down with a cup of tea and toast after a hard days work and an outing to the shops which left me looking like a drowned rat! Fire on, telly on, lamps on, all cozy and protected – all is well within the world!

Last, but by no means least – a belated remembrance to all that suffered on September 9th 2001 and a respectful nod to all those left behind, picking up the pieces of their lives still. Its hard to believe 10 years have passed, the shocking images of that day are still so very fresh and wounding.

Nobody has forgotten, nobody will forget. May you rest in peace and may those left behind with the nightmare of it all in their thoughts, may you find peace of mind and heart.

x